I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I wanted to blog further on food aversions.
My “T” was telling me that children who don’t bond with their mother properly in infancy (particularly through nursing but otherwise as well) will develop an attachment to food as a baby because they need to attach to something.
I have a sugar addiction and I’m finding that is quite likely do to the above. There was abuse going on while my mother was pregnant with me, it was bad. The father actually and weirdly admitted that. I was born a very stiff baby and I would not nurse. The mother told me she tried for 5 months, and she was upset and exasperated. I was also born with muscle attached to nerve on my leg, so I wasn’t “cuddly” it was painful for me to be held. Then there was colic…Most of this information came in the form of put downs over the years, as though it was somehow my fault.
There is another reason that food or sugar addiction can happen, which lands on the opposite end of the scale. If one has a good memory from childhood connected to food, then they may hang onto that food, as it represents a positive connection.
The mother loved jujubes, and I would always find her hiding spots and sneak them. She thought this was funny, and over time she would buy more, because I ate a lot of them.
Guess what I’m most addicted too? Jujubes. The “T” says, it gave me a positive connection to the mother and so I’ve clung to that and now candy in general.
This concept can also fall outside the food realm. The father’s best memory with his mother is gardening, he is addicted to gardening, and he’s obsessive compulsive with gardening he can’t s stop. He spends thousands every year and his entire summers changing, “fixing”, adding gardens…It’s brutal and I hate gardening as a result, since I was forced into it as a kid.
I’m so glad to be learning these things. It gives me hope that I don’t have to live with food issues for the rest of my life.
Do any of you have addictions related to good or bad memories from your childhood?
There is hope!
